Exercise 9

Last class we were given a choice; either to head outside to think for 15 minutes or to stay inside and participate in a discussion. I chose to go outside and think.

I thought about the rationale behind missing things, and what to do about those things that you miss, more particularly about things you have been missing for a very long time or ruminating over. Suppose you had a drug addiction which you had since dropped. You really miss doing drugs, and you want to relapse so you don’t miss it anymore. But then, ask yourself, is that sustainable? Can you keep doing drugs? How did you arrive at the current position where you miss that thing? If it was so genuinely important to you and worthwhile, why do you now miss it?

This does not just apply to drugs, but I think that’s a very easy example to make. Consider instead previous relationships, hobbies, foods, almost anything that you might really miss or have some sort of ‘craving’ for. What’s stopping you from going back?

I will give a few more examples. I haven’t talked to an old friend of mine in some time because I know that being friends with him inevitably results in some drama. I haven’t skied in a week or so because I know it’ll worsen my injury. I haven’t had ice cream in a while because it doesn’t really make me feel good.

But, for things that I do miss which aren’t harmful to me, I don’t stay missing them for very long at all. I just go back and do them again.

So, I ended up thinking that feeling of missing something for an extended period of time is usually stupid. It is how you feel, but recognizing that how you’re feeling is a bit silly or unproductive might help you break out of feeling that way. As time goes on, I think we eventually miss things less and less as we forget about them. So, don’t think about it. The less you do, the less you’ll miss it. Not much is likely to change.


We also got into a bit of discussion about self-analysis and maybe some emotional fluency stuff? I remember something along the lines of “do you do serious self reflection regularly and is it effective in making you feel better or improving yourself” *probably heavy paraphrasing.

I do think a lot about stuff. Usually for like an hour after I wake up, sometimes late at night, other times when I’m bored with nothing I want to do, I will just sit around and kind of mope? Maybe not mope, but it’s not really effective a lot of the time. Like 10% of my thoughts really lead to any shred of progress at all. By the end of these sessions which my friends have affectionately named “geeking”, I usually just feel a bit disappointed at my progress and the time I’ve spent. But there is still some progress, and I still do it, not because it’s really effective or because I set time aside for it, but because I don’t feel like staring at my phone.

Sometimes, I really can’t help thinking about stuff. This is usually the rumination bit above–it’s rarely a positive mindset. Some of those problems which I would normally try to figure out for an hour have long since been figured out, and there’s nothing to be done about it. I just wish things were different and sit in yearning of a solution I deem unrealistic. </p>