Exercise 6
Instructions
Choose one moment from a Socratic dialogue performance. (It cannot be from your own performance.) In particular, choose a moment that emotionally stimulated you in some way – that surprised you, inspired you, annoyed you, angered you, frustrated you, delighted you, bored you, or whatever else. Explain that moment in vivid detail. Make it come back alive. Then sit back and allow yourself to wonder about your own emotional reaction to it. What was that emotional reaction like? Why was it that you had that emotional reaction? Allow yourself to wonder. Try to get into a spirit of genuine curiosity. Follow the thoughts wherever they lead, but do not try to follow them any farther than they take you on their own. Just wonder, and notice the thoughts that arise. Write down the thoughts as they come. Write them down in whatever style is most natural to you. Set a timer for 15 minutes, and then begin this exercise. If you discover that you want to keep writing after the 15 minutes, keep going. The important thing is to write for at least 15 minutes.
I thought that the discussion of brainrot was very interesting, and the characterization of it as a "dissociative state" struck me as unique and possibly incorrect. I understand the feeling of being zombified with your device in hand at the hands of your device. Time passes; you don't even know what you're watching. It's just playing until it's time to scroll. I have felt that same feeling in class when I "zone out" or when I am driving on a long roadtrip on an especially boring piece of road and forget that I'm driving (even though I can drive and stay in the lane and maintain my speed subconsciously--maybe not subconsciously? it feels like it).
Dissociating, for me, often feels involuntary. It's not something you can just "snap out of" once you realize you're doing it and shouldn't be. It's not a lack of focus or a state of inattentiveness or "autopilot" either, it's something different. I often feel seriously disconnected from my body, from my sense of self, from my personality, from my habits and instincts. It's like I'm playing a video game through a VR headset, and I feel like if someone were to poke me with something sharp I might not even react in the moment, or that if I did react it wouldn't be ME reacting. It can feel like a sharp division between conscious and subsconscious, brain and body, or perhaps sould and body.
With regards to my emotional response, I hardly feel offended--the way it was described accurately delivers the feeling to most people. I both hope and think that most do not experience dissociation. Some of the strongest dissociative episodes I have experienced were a result of trauma or drug use. It is often a frightening experience. Staring at the phone is not frightening--it is lethargic suspension of responsibilities. It's fun, but most importantly it's EASY fun which makes it easy to not think about your obligations. I think this also links nicely into the three types of fun.
It's probably a bit arrogant and judgmental to assert myself as part of some exclusive minority that "really" dissociates. It does not make me any wiser or smarter or better to experience that on a regular basis. What I am trying to get at is mostly feeling separated from people because I have a starkly different definition of a word than they did in that moment. Am I wrong? Were they wrong? Regardless, it's not an appropriate thing to ask, and I won't know what the general consensus or understanding is. I don't know if it's rare to experience. People don't talk about it.
